


Reasons Why Fighting Against A Wizard Is A Really Shitty Idea

by RavenThePhantomThief



Series: The Phantom Thieves VS The Wizard Guy [1]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Animal Ears, Awkwardness, Bunny Ears, Cat Ears, Cat/Human Hybrids, Comedy, F/M, Funny situations, Gen, Humor, Magic, Rabbit Ears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 07:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18426048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenThePhantomThief/pseuds/RavenThePhantomThief
Summary: The Phantom Thieves tried to fight a wizard. The wizard is really strong. The wizard is also a giant douchebag.





	Reasons Why Fighting Against A Wizard Is A Really Shitty Idea

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea for a long time, but I didn't know how to start it. Then it hit me a few days ago and I just kept writing. To be honest, I just wanted to write about Makoto with cat features ;) I hope you can enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this.

What is bad? For the Phantom Thieves, it was that their new target was a crazy guy who strongly believed he was a wizard.

What is worse? The fact that they let the crazy wizard guy launch an attack that hit them with full force and cursed them.

What is the worst? The horrible realization, that the effects of his magic didn't disappear after leaving the metaverse.

* * *

"I don't get it. We defeated a god damn god and saved humanity! Why is it so hard to punch a crazy guy with a top hat?"

Ryuji sighed and sat down at the counter of the café. The rest of the Phantom Thieves were behind him, their faces were lying flat on the table. "I don't know, but whatever this is, I hope it ends soon! Akira, can you make me a coffee, please?"

"Sorry Ann, but I think I can't do that." Akira filled coffee in a cup. Then he placed it upside down on the counter. When he lifted it again, there was no liquid only a playing card. "Someone's missing a Queen of Clubs?"

"Why the hell is this stuff still working? We are in the real world, right? Hey, can you give me the salt shaker?" Akira handed Ryuji the salt shaker and the blond boy covered it with both hands. When he lifted them again, the salt shaker was gone.

"So... everything you take in your hands disappears?"

"I think so... looks like I shouldn't masturbate tonight."

"Hahaha, yeah."

"Ryuji! That's gross! I heard that!" There was no way Futaba could have not heard it with the giant rabbit ears that had grown on her head. "I always thought bunny ears were cute but this is annoying. Why are these ears so big. When I shake my head they're hanging down and blocking my view."

"I have to use the bathroom." Ann lifted her head and stood up. She walked towards the toilet but Futaba stopped her. "Before you go, could you make sure that the part you that needs to go to the toilet is with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Look down."

The model looked down and saw... nothing. Her lower half was still sitting on the table.

"What. The. Hell?"

"I don't even know what this is supposed to be? Is that the trick was you cut a woman in a box in half?"

"More import: How the hell can I move my legs?"  
"Can't you just reconnect your body-parts?" Haru tried to come up with an idea, which was hard because she was also trying to catch a rabbit that was appearing and disappearing in her hair.

Meanwhile Akira had tried to put the coffee directly into his mouth which caused him to choke up a card deck. "This is bullshit!"

"Take it easy. At least you don't throw up stuff constantly!"

Futaba pointed at Yusuke, who was desperately trying to keep his mouth closed. But he failed. He started to choke and a pigeon escaped his lips.

"Woah!" Everyone clapped, except for the artist, who was rubbing his throat. "Could I get a coffee?" A deck of cards landed in his face. "Thanks."

"What about you Mako-Chan?" Haru tried to ignore the rabbit who started to eat her sweater. "You didn't say anything since this magic stuff happened. Did you come up with a way to explain your head to your sister?"

After the fight against Shido and the god of control, the group had to explain a lot to Sojiro and Sae, but in the end, it seemed to be okay. But now Makoto had a big pair of cat ears on her head. Her face was bright red. A cattail was swinging back and for behind her back. She was nervous.

She shook her head.

"Is everything alright?"

She shook her head again.

"Can't be worse than my situation."

Morgana tried to jump on the table but was stopped by a top hat which suddenly appeared and covered him. Haru caught it and put her hand in it.

"I summon out of my magic hat: A cat!"

She pulled Morgana out of the hat. The feline gave her a frazzled look. "Not funny. Also, your chest is moving."

A bunny stuck his head out of a hole that it ate in Haru's sweater. "How did it get down from my head?"

She sat Morgana down on the table and immediately a top hat appeared around him.

“You know what… I give up. Wake me up when this is over.”

Meanwhile, Ann, who had managed to walk towards the bathroom tried to balance her upper body on her lower body and tripped. Her head fell off and rolled over the floor.

“Woah! Ann are you all right?” Ryuji stood up and want to pick her up, but stopped. “Can someone help her without making her disappear?”

“Come here, Ann.” Futaba picked up the head. “Now I am not the smallest girl in the group any more.”

“Great. I am glad that you're happy. Can you help rebuild my body please?”

“Okay. I am sure this is more fun than rebuilding Olaf in that Frozen Level of Kingdom Hearts.”

“Oh, I liked Olaf.”

“K, I am dropping you.”

“Please don't!”

While the geek girl tried to put the blond back together, Akira handed out some water bottles to everyone. “Okay. I think it should be fine as long as I don't try to fill the water in a glass myself.”

Haru, Yusuke and Ryuji filled their glasses and started drinking except for Makoto who was still staring at her lap.

“Are you okay?” The raven-haired boy took one of the cold water bottles and held it against her cheek. A loud cat-screech echoed through. Her cat tail stood upright and the hair on it stood in every direction. Her ears moved around for a bit like she tried to detect danger. Then she put her feet on her seat, put her arms around her legs and pressed her face against her knees to hide it.

“Oh my god. You can't talk. You can only make cat noises!” Akira couldn't see it but he was sure that Makoto's face was as red as Ann's leggings. “That is adorable. I wonder if...” He started to scratch her behind her cat ears. It was quiet for a few seconds and everyone just watched the scene. A sound started to replace the silence as Makoto started to purr. Whatever she was feeling right now, it appeared to overshadow every other thought or emotion in her body. She had closed her eyes and was now pushing her head in Akira's direction. The boy was moving his hand carefully back and fore. His face was glowing with excitement. “This is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. This is like an anime but in real life!” He could honestly say that he hadn't been this happy in a long time. Makoto had transformed into a cute cat girl and she was nuzzling his hand!

“What is going on here?”

Sae had entered the café. Akira stepped away immediately and Makoto's smile vanished. Her sister stepped towards the two.

“I thought I stop by and get you so you don't have to take the train, but it looks like you are really enjoying whatever this is. Is that some kind of fetish party? Why do you have cat ears?”

“I can explain!” But Akira didn't get a chance to explain anything. Sae kept talking. “What are you people doing here? That girl has bunny ears and is touching the blond girl everywhere!”

Futaba, who was busy with keeping Ann's body together just looked at the older woman. “Jealous?”  
Ann took a deep breath.

“And why is Okumura-San half naked!”

“A bunny is eating my clothes!”

Meanwhile, Akira panicked and tried to calm Sae down somehow. “I am sure all this animal stuff appears a bit… indecent… but I am sure we can discuss this over a nice plate of curry!” He grabbed a pan that Sojiro left on the stove for him to reheat and held it in front of her. “Here. It is from today so don't worry. Want to eat with us?” He lifted the pan and an unholy amount of playing cards started to shoot in the air. The woman just stared at the boy. They kept eye contact until the card rain stopped.

“Eh… TA-DA!”

“Kurusu-Kun. I don't know what you're doing here, but right now I really want to punch you!” She walked towards Akira, who tried to walk backwards without looking like he was about to pee his pants. Makoto jumped between the two. She wanted to protect Akira from her sister and tried to explain the circumstances to her. However, she forgot one crucial detail.

“Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.”

When she realized that every word that came out of her mouth sounded like a cat which tried to explain the plot of Kingdom Hearts to another cat, she abruptly stopped and covered her mouth. Once again her face was red, but more importantly, her ears started to move.

“Wait a minute.” Her sister pulled softly on one of her ears. When they didn't come off, she started to pet them, as Akira did before. Makoto was looking on the floor to avoid her sister's eyes, but that didn't stop her from purring.

“Okay. This is really strange… and really cute… but really strange! What the hell did you do?”

“This is nothing we planned. We just had a bit of bad luck during our last heist.”

“I believe that… but I saw what you two did here in front of all these people, I will take Makoto home now. And you-” She turned to her little sister, “You explain this to me! If you can't talk, write a message on your phone, but when I stop the car at our apartment, I want to have an answer! About this-” She pointed at her cat ears, “And this!” She pointed at Akira, who still looked like he was about to die. “Let's go now- why are there so many pigeons in here?”

“I am truly sorry about my mouth-pigeons.”

“Your what?”

Yusuke just looked at her and opened his mouth. A bird stuck its head out and flew away. It landed on one of Ann's pigtails and her head just rolled off her neck and landed on the floor again.

“AH FUCK!”

“Ann, you said the F-word!”

Sae turned around and walked faster. She dragged Makoto with her. The girl was laughing silently.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, guys, Futaba here. The author was too lazy to write End Notes so he paid me with a bag of carrots to do this. Normally I wouldn't do anything for some lame carrots, but since I got this stupid ears, I can't resist them. Anyway, if you liked this story, it would be nice if you left a comment or a Kudo. What was your favourite curse? Haru's Rabbit? Akira's Cards? Or Makoto's Cat ears? Can you leave some carrots in the comments? Maybe our curses are lifted when we get enough comments or something like that. I don't know. See you next time. Bye!


End file.
